Dear Dream Detective:
I have a recurring
nightmare that I'm back in college. I'm running desperately
through buildings to get to an exam which is about to begin.
Sometimes I can't remember the exam room number. Sometimes I'm
going to drive my car to the exam, but my car won't start. In
any case, I wake up in a terrible panic!
Helena Carbone
Owego, New York
Background Clues
Helena is a 45 year old
woman. She graduated college when when was 22 and received her
masters degree when she was 24. She states that she is in the
midst of a midlife crisis. She asks -- and it sounds like an
old song -- "Marriage, children, career, is that all
there is?"
The Solution to the
Mystery
Dear Helena:
Yours is a rather common
dream these days. This is because our modern age lacks
significant rites of passage. A rite of passage is an
experience of symbolic death and rebirth. A person who
undergoes such a trial dies to his old self and experiences
life as if he were born anew.
The problem is that many
of the traditional rites of passage have lost their renewing
power. Marriage, for example, has become more of a contractual
agreement than a transformative experience. Graduation was
meant to be a powerful rite of passage. Graduation lost this
power when college became merely a "practical"
affair, something required to get a job.
The problem is that
without significant rites of passage a person feels
ill-equipped to be in the world in a meaningful way. New
responsibilities appear to be mere burdens rather than doors
to a new and meaningful station in life. Why then do you have
your recurring nightmare? Your unconscious is telling you that
you are still required to undergo the necessary rites of
passage (pictured in the dream as exams) before you can
graduate to more significant levels of adult life.
Since our society lacks
these rites of passage, what to do? Move to a traditional
society? Seek out unusual challenges as did Billy Crystal and
his friends in the film City Slickers? More to the
point, deep insight into how you've lived and who you are is
the real catalyst for significant change, (and the cure for
midlife crisis). Then life will examine you and promote you to
new levels of living. Your graduation diploma will be
untroubled sleep.
Mark
"Sherlock" Dillof
